Change to memorialisation + “Look Back” videos for Facebook deceased

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Facebook made an announcement last week which shows that it has been giving some thought to how the social networking platform can best help people remember and celebrate their loved ones.

The first change they’ve introduced is that the Facebook memorialisation feature (what is memorialisation?) will continue to keep the account holder’s visibility features set as they were before the person died. Previously, only people set as ‘friends’ were able to see and interact with their page. So if a person decides that ‘friends’ and ‘friends of friends’ are able to their wall whilst living, these same groups of people will be able to see that person’s account after they have died.

Also… remember the Look Back video that has being doing the rounds on Facebook? This is the personalised video feature that shows users’ top content moments over the past ten years, launched to coincide with Facebook’s ten year anniversary. After one father’s appeal to Facebook for a Look Back video for his son who died in 2012, Facebook have made a request process available for others who have deceased friends and would like to view a Look Back video for them.  To apply and see a Look Back video for a deceased friend, the account must be memorialised and the requester must have ‘friend’ status. The requester will be sent a private link which cannot be shared.

Facebook have placed emphasis on the privacy of account holders and honouring this in life and in death. The company has also alluded to additional changes in upcoming months so that people can better establish how they want to be remembered on Facebook and what they want to leave behind for others. I’m hoping that they are considering a living will arrangement in the same way Google has set up its Google Inactive Manager.

How to hide Facebook account activity of friends who have died

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It’s common to hear people mentioning that they find it difficult when they continue to see the presence of their deceased friends on Facebook – on friend lists, by tagged activity others in a shared community have posted, or via automated suggestions in news feeds.

No mainstream social network currently allows people to separate profiles of deceased friends or acquaintances from their living present-day active ones, although there are some features that users can take advantage of to manage a friend or connection’s activity. Relatives and next of kin of those who have died have the option of closing their accounts or – in the case of Facebook – continuing the account but memorialising it.

Often, these same relatives are unaware that memorialisation options exist but even if they activate this process, they have no control over Facebook settings, such as those for privacy or notifications.

For people who are uncomfortable seeing profiles or activity of deceased friends on their Facebook account but who do not want to ‘unfriend’ them, here are some suggestions to minimise these kind of reminders.

Hide a Facebook friend’s news feed. If you have a friend who has died and you don’t wish to see updates in your news feed relating to them – either when people post on their wall, or when updates are posted by someone who has password access to their account – you can change your settings to avoid these. Or, if you don’t want to hide all activity, you can specifically outline what type of activity you would like to see appearing on your news feed.

Hide Facebook Page updates. You may also follow a Facebook page set up to commemorate someone but may not want to hear news from family and friends when updates are posted but instead prefer to check in from time to time. To stop seeing these updates, go to the page you no longer want to see updates from, and at the top right hand corner of the page, there’s a notifications button. Set this notifications button to “off”. This same process works for friends, people or pages that you follow.

Manage several accounts at once by creating a Facebook list. If you have a group of friends that you want to manage in the same way in one location, you can create a list to control what information and status updates you see. Once you create a list, you can select or uncheck the options that show up in your newsfeed by going to ‘manage list’ > ‘update status types’.

Here’s a good all round article on managing friends and doing a general news feed spring clean. As ever, do post any additional tips, comments or suggestions below.

How to give someone access to your Google email and data; manage your digital afterlife

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Google Inactive Manager is a recent introduction by Google to allow account holders to share their email and data with a nominated next of kin or friends after they have died or have stopped using Google services. A previous post looks at the pros and cons of using Google Inactive Manager and why you might want to do so. Here’s a step by step guide to help you this up this function…

Setting up Google Inactive Manager

Go to your Google homepage, click on your profile or avatar picture at the top right hand side of the page and select ‘Account’ after your name. You’ll need to be logged in to set up this feature.

Once in your ‘Account’ page, select the ‘Data tools’ option at the top of the page and then click on ‘Set up Inactive Google Manager’.

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You’ll be presented with the Google Inactive Manager dashboard. Click on ‘Set up’ to get started.

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First you’ll need to provide a mobile phone number. Click on the ‘Add mobile phone number’. The system is intuitive so it doesn’t matter if you type in a zero after the country code or leave spaces between numbers.

Once done, hit the ‘Send verification code’ button – it should send a code to your phone via SMS which consists of a series of numbers or letters and numbers. Add to the ‘Verify number’ box which appears and click ‘Confirm’.

You can also add another email address to receive updates or alerts at this point.

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Once you’ve provided your contact details, select a timeout period on the Google Inactive Manager homepage. This means the length of time that you leave your Google account inactive, i.e. the period during which you do not log into Google for email, search, Google+, Drive or any of the Google tools. The minimum period is 3 months, the maximum period is 18 months. Think of the feature you most commonly use on Google and base a time period around that.

Remember though, Google only knows that you’ve used your account if you have logged into your account. If you use Google search everyday but are not signed in then you check your email every six months which you have to sign in for, Google will register the six month email activity on your account but not the search.

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Next, select ‘Add trusted contact’. You can nominate up to 10 contacts who will have three months to download your data once the account is inactive. Here’s where you can enter the email details of the person(s) you nominate to receive your data. Check the ‘Share my data with this contact option’ to ensure that they are able to receive the data later. If there is someone that you don’t want to have access to your email or other Google data but would like to send them a message, you can add a note for them at this point which the recipient will receive when the timeout period has finished.

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Select the Google data that you would like your nominated person(s) to download. As well as making sure your contact details are correct, you’ll need to verify the correct phone number for your nominated contact(s). You’ll also need to update your contact’s mobile phone if this changes over time so that they will be able to access your account once it has become inactive. You can pick and choose what your nominated contact(s) will be able to download and access.

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After hitting the ‘Next’ button, you’ll be taken to a page where you can leave a message for the person you’ve nominated to receive your Google data. While setting up Google Inactive Manager is practical, the message doesn’t have to be. It’s a good opportunity to leave a thoughtful message behind for someone who is grieving. What would they want to hear? Anything you want them to know? What you say could make a difference to them.

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Google Inactive Manager also allows you to set up an auto-response to incoming email once your Google account has become inactive.

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Lastly, you decide what happens to your Google account once your outlined actions have been completed. Would you like the account to be deleted? Google Inactive Manager includes this option which will also remove any public comments/data you have, for instance on YouTube or Google+.

opt_delete_google_account_digitalafterlife_deathOnce you’ve hit ‘Enable’, your Google settings are confirmed. Remember, you are able to update your settings at any point. Visit this earlier post on things to consider when setting up Google Inactive Manager.

What happens to Google email & online information when someone dies?

When people lose someone close to them, they frequently seek to find out more about what they were thinking or doing before they died. It’s as though they are trying to get a complete sense of the person and how they related to everyone else and the world around them.

Accessing secure information such as email is one way that mourners have sought to do this. However until recently, Google has restricted the ability of family members to see account information of the relatives who have died. It has required a legal process. The company has stated that their focus is to consider the privacy of users who sign up to their services – whether living or dead.

This changed in April 2013 when Google announced that their users are now able to nominate a next of kin or someone close to them which allows them access their account data if the account has been inactive for a period of three or more months. It’s called Google Inactive Manager. This will potentially be an enormous comfort for families trying to delve into their loved ones’ histories, sparking memories as well as a greater understanding of who they were. But what are the consequences? Could it in fact open Pandora’s box?

Why family members may want access to your emails and information

Earlier this year, my folks and I visited an army barracks in Catterick, UK to see some soldiers that my brother, DBS, helped to recruit to his Battalion. It was a good day, meeting some of the officers that he served with and finding out more about the customs, traditions and the way of life that he became part of.

Chatting with one of the officers over lunch, he told me that one of the most common questions that families ask when dealing with the news that they have lost someone while on active duty is “did he or she receive my parcel?” They want to know if their son, daughter, spouse or sibling knew that they were in their thoughts and were loved. Even if the recipient hadn’t had a chance to consume or open the package, their families are relieved and grateful if they know it was received. The gift symbolises their act of thinking about and loving them.

I was immediately struck by this conversation and could relate to what the offer had said. When I was informed of my brother’s death, my first response was “did he know that I loved him?” not long followed by “but I haven’t sent him his parcel,” a box of goodies that I’d bought a few days prior but hadn’t yet mailed.  It is a deeply held regret.

By contrast, I knew that my brother had thought of me. Two days later a postcard arrived from him that had taken some time to arrive from overseas, telling me not to worry and that he and his boys were well trained and prepared. He would see me soon. I could hear his voice as I read it and I felt a combination of being elated because I had received his thoughtful message and devastated because its timing was like a punch in the stomach.

I had sent DBS several emails in the month prior to his death to his Google gmail account. However, because of the nature of his work, I wasn’t sure that he had received them. He hadn’t replied. Army representatives at his repatriation and funeral, tried to assure me that he may have read them. “Camps often have internet”, they said. “Perhaps he was able to check into his account between duties”.

It wasn’t something that I was able to find out definitively from Google though. Initial enquiries by the MOD (Military of Defence) and ourselves to access his account were rebutted.

DBS was old fashioned in his approach to communicating with friends. He wrote pen on paper letters and mailed them to friends and family. By contrast, I preferred online forms of communication such as email and social and now believe as a result, that a significant period of my personal history has been lost.

By committing his words down on a card, I had a record of his thoughts for me. They were there in black and white. In my initial stages of grief, not knowing whether or not he had received my correspondence meant I had no guarantee — for a while — that he knew mine for him.

Respecting someone’s privacy while managing a digital estate

In military life, it’s a common ritual to send parcels and mail to men and women in the field. Increasingly though in our digital age, emails and notes through social networking platforms have primarily become our means of communicating, symbols if you like, that convey we’re thinking of others. Given this trend, it’s no wonder that we want to see these sent and received messages from behind a username and password.

In an earlier post, I mentioned how our family wanted to respect DBS’s privacy when handling data stored on his laptop with our desire to find out more about him. We did this by asking a third party to look through its contents, separating the information he would have wanted us to see from the notes and conversations that he would likely preferred we didn’t.

We would have applied the same practice to his email handling if we had been allowed to. This is certainly something I would recommend to families going through this experience of looking through email data of someone who has died, whether they access this information via the Google Inactive Manager or have obtained the right to read it through as the result of a legal process.

Being able to access a deceased person’s Google account data will likely be beneficial when managing their estate if gmail is their principal personal email account. For instance, resetting unknown passwords to 3rd party services such as iTunes, online banking, other social networking accounts is largely done via email.

There are also potential downsides to reading through someone’s private history and relationships. By looking through these archives, you are likely to become privy to a world inhabited by all kinds of private conversations. People often have secret lives, or have done things or have feelings that the people closest them may not know about. Even if this is not the case, online conversations can easily be misinterpreted.

Google Inactive Manager – features & things to consider when setting this service up

Things to consider when setting up Google Inactive Manager

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Google Inactive Manager is a recent introduction by Google to allow account holders to share their email and data with a nominated next of kin or friends after they have died or have stopped using Google services. A previous post looks at the pros and cons of using Google Inactive Manager and why you might want to do so. Here are some additional things to think about when setting this up this function…

Google’s decision to make a user’s private data available to people they have nominated is a positive one, especially if users are considerate in how they manage their settings, balancing their privacy v. providing information that would be practical or of comfort in some way, to their friends and relatives.

Having trialled this feature recently, here are some considerations if you decide to take advantage of this function.

Google Inactive Manager allows you to decide what Google features and data your next of kin/family members/friends can download in the event of your death.

Think about what you want to share. You may want to reveal data from your blog or Google+ circles to those you’ve nominated but not your email. When signing up, there’s a full checkbox list of Google features. Just check the information areas that you would like to disclose.

With this kind of digital estate planning, tell your closest kin what you are planning to do and what information you’ve nominated. This way you can discuss what your decision means and there are no surprises later in the event that something happens to you. On a purely practical note, your Google account needs to be inactive for at least three months before your nominated party can download your data. Discussing the steps that you have taken with them means that they may avoid running around in administrative or legal circles trying to obtain this account information in the meantime.

Google Inactive Manager only applies to gmail accounts – i.e. your nameorxxxx@ gmail.com

Email accounts hosted by Google but which are instead Gmail accounts with Google Apps (for instance, a business email address), are not supported by this service. For a Google Apps account, you’ll need to consider an alternative means of sharing data, for instance by setting up someone you trust as an admin on your account. If you have set up multiple personal Gmail accounts (i.e. name@gmail.com) you can set up Google Inactive Manager for each of these.

Google Inactive Manager will set into action if you stop using Google and don’t make the service inactive again.

It’s important to check in and update this service regularly to ensure that it is reflective of your digital afterlife wishes.  Your next of kin or the friends you want to nominate may change over time as may the level and type of information you want to share.

You can choose more than one person with whom you share your data. It’s not immediately obvious but if you wish to change the Google information that your previously nominated friends/family can download, click on the edit symbol (the pencil) next to their name. There’s also the option of deleting their access status if you change your mind later.

Online service providers change and go out of business as I’ve written about before. Google’s Gmail is showing no signs of abating, however, if you do decide to use another email service and discontinue using Gmail, make sure you deactivate Google Inactive Manager otherwise you’ll be sharing information before it’s time. A false alarm would be awkward, upsetting… and have privacy as well as security implications.

Google Inactive Manager offers the option for you to provide a posthumous message to your closest friends and family

There are lots of services that will charge a fee for you to send a personalised message to loved ones after your death.

When you set up Google Inactive Manager and nominate the family and friends you would like to share your email or other Google data with, you are able to include a personalised message for each nominee which they will receive once the service is activated. It’s free and part of the opt-in process.

While Google Inactive Manager serves a practical purpose, use this message to say something thoughtful. It really will make a difference.

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